I recently moved from North Carolina to Florida. The reason behind this decision was God. The Lord woke me up one night and told me I was going to Pensacola. Thinking I was insane, but having learned in my life, the best thing to do is be obedient to God and you really cannot go wrong. So I packed my bags and moved on down. That is simply the setup to this story about my sarcasm not being appreciated. Deciding that I will remain in Florida until directed otherwise, certain things needed to be handled. I needed to get a Florida drivers license, my car registered in Florida as well as get insurance, guess where, in Florida! I found out that this needed to be done when I received an unexpected call from my dad,who in a rather testy and impatient tone informed me that I needed to bring my car a whopping 9 hours up to North Carolina in order to get it inspected. Well, that wasn't really an option at all for me at the time. So, two weeks ago I got the ball rolling finding out which documents were needed in order to transfer registration, how much it would cost me to do this, and searching for the cheapest and most productive car insurance I could find. Boy, I absolutely had not idea where to start! I decided to look where all great thinkers go to find answers. GOOGLE.COM!!! I found a plethora of information that was really very helpful. I searched online to find the phone numbers of insurance companies that cover Florida residents, and called my wonderful banker to find out if I had the adequate funds to cover this surprisingly pricey experience. I did! On Wednesday, I made numerous calls to insurance agents starting with Allstate thinking, based on the commercials, that I would be in good hands. What the commercial doesn't show you is that those good hands are filled with your money! My next call went to State Farm, again, based on the commercials, I thought "Well, like a good neighbor State Farm is there." However, to my unpleasant surprise, that neighbor was stealing money from me! Then it hit me! FLO!!!! I got on the phone with Progressive, and got my quote, it was decent, a little high, however, for the most part manageable with food and rent. I wasn't satisfied though, because I hadn't tested all my options. You know the saying, "Save the best for last.?" It is so true. DA-DA-DADA! Geico! I was on the phone with them for roughly fifteen minutes and they saved me 15% on my car insurance. Well I was sold! 1 point for me, 0 points for crappy insurance! So on a Thursday I went to my local tax collector's office and started the process. I sat down with a very friendly looking lady named Bonnie, she took one look at me and knew that I was a girl who had no clue what I was doing. God Bless Her, she was a doll to work with! We started by proving that I had Florida insurance, thank you Geico! Once that was done we then moved onto my driver's license. I, not thinking I would have my picture taken, was wearing a very attractive head scarf (the one in the picture at the top of the blog, feel free to comment on how awesome my scarf looks :)_) I had to remove the scarf for my picture. Well not knowing what it looked like, Bonnie said, "Patricia, you have some wind blowned hair!" (Yes, I realize it says blowned, that was the way she actually said it.) I looked at her and said, "Well Bonnie, fix it." I leaned over the desk and she kindly fixed my hair for me to ensure that I didn't look jacked up for my license picture. We took the picture and she let me approve it. We took a second picture and that was so much better, I picked that one. Next was the personal information. I sat back down at her desk and she told me that she just needed the answers to a few questions. This is where the post title comes into play! Question number 1: "Are You: Black, Asian, Caucasian, Native American, or Other?" I'm sitting there across from Bonnie, clearly a white girl, wondering to myself, "Can she not see me?" So, I answer, "Black." The look on sweet Bonnie's face clearly told me, "SARCASM IS NOT APPRECIATED!" She then stopped the questionnaire to remind me that I was under the eligibility to be tried in court under penalty of Perjury. Well, I had never heard that term before so I asked, "What does that mean." She told me that basically, me answering those questions right there, was me being under oath, so penalty of perjury is lying under oath. She then told me that if I provide false answers I could go to prison for up to five years. Quickly, I changed my answer to Caucasian! I finished the paperwork, got my registration and roughly $500 later, walked out of there a legal resident of Florida!
The moral of this story is if you are quick witted, sharp, smart, attractive, funny, humorous, sarcastic, that is wonderful! Leave it outside the door, though, when you go to the DMV, Tax Collector's Offices, or any other Government run facility. Because if you don't you could go to prison for up to 5 years!
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